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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118702">all i ever wanted was a life in your shape</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecenterstaysthesame/pseuds/thecenterstaysthesame'>thecenterstaysthesame</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i'll wait forever (that's what we said) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Rise of Kyoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, COME GET Y'ALL'S FOOD, F/F, First Kiss, ITS A TWOSHOT, Well - Freeform, so.... remember that oneshot childhood au, that was supposed to be a oneshot?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:55:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,283</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecenterstaysthesame/pseuds/thecenterstaysthesame</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you remember when we married each other?”</p><p>Rangi chokes on her drink, sputtering up her black milk tea and herbal jelly in a coughing fit as she desperately tries to keep balance on the car’s roof, and Kyoshi’s hand shoots out instinctively, grabbing her arm and pulling her into herself to keep her from falling.</p><p>“Married?” Rangi demands, wiping her mouth and squinting at Kyoshi, the tips of her ears red. Kyoshi wipes gently at the drops of milk tea Rangi missed, and Rangi holds still.</p><p>“Kelsang showed me an old photo of us when we were kids,” Kyoshi says, “before I left. We used to call each other our future wife, he said."</p><p>Rangi doesn’t say anything, quiet, and Kyoshi stills. They’ve never talked about the past, maybe Rangi doesn’t remember, or maybe Kyoshi hurt Rangi as kids, and—</p><p>This was a bad idea, Kyoshi thinks.</p><p>(Childhood AU, ten years later. For Day 1 of Winter ATLA Femslash Week: First Kiss.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyoshi/Rangi (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i'll wait forever (that's what we said) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all i ever wanted was a life in your shape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>content / trigger warning: brief mention of child neglect, strokes, food.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s an old photo, the gloss still gleaming but its edges a little frayed on the edges. The yellow timestamp on the bottoms says it was taken on Spirit Night, over ten years ago, and Kyoshi tilts the photo, trying to avoid the glare to make out its contents.</p><p>“Kelsang, what is this?”</p><p>Her guardian is just about quivering from excitement; Kyoshi can hear the way he’s trying to hold back his laughter through the little breaths he takes as his long finger traces the center of the photo.</p><p>"Well, what do you see?”</p><p>Kyoshi’s eyebrows furrow as she squints, trying to make out the features. The photo is a little blurry, as if the figures were still moving, but it looks like two young girls no older than ten wearing some sort of dress—a Fire National hanbok, perhaps—with a comically large height difference. The girl in the red hanbok doesn’t even come up to the other girl’s shoulders, and she seems to be angrily yelling at the other girl, who’s smiling and clutching some sort of animal in her hands.</p><p>“I… two Fire Nation girls? Kelsang, I just needed a baby photo for graduation,” Kyoshi says, still squinting.</p><p>"Are you sure those girls don’t look familiar?” Kelsang teases, prodding her gently in the hips, and Kyoshi squints further, studying the taller girl’s freckled face.</p><p>It hits her like a punch to the gut.</p><p>“Is that <em> me </em>?”</p><p>The bellow of laughter confirms her suspicions, and her mouth gapes in disbelief. Yes, that’s her, with all those freckles splashed across her face and her vaguely crooked smile, missing one of her front teeth, but why was she wearing a Fire National hanbok? And who was the other girl?</p><p>Oh spirits.</p><p>“Is—is that Rangi?” Kyoshi sputters. “Is that <em> Rangi? </em>”</p><p>Kelsang is still cackling, and Kyoshi elbows him. “Kelsang, what <em> is </em>this?!”</p><p>By the time Kelsang has recovered, Kyoshi has made out enough details to deduce that little-her is wearing a similarly-styled hanbok, albeit in the green and gold colors of the Earth kingdom, and she’s carrying some sort of stuffed penguin goose for whatever reason. The math she does in her head says that she and Rangi are about seven years old, and the knowledge that even a decade ago, they were still over fifty centimeters apart makes her smile.</p><p>It doesn’t explain why they’re dressed like that, though.</p><p>“Kelsang, why am I wearing that?” she asks again, and Kelsang, who has just recovered, breaks out into another fit of laughter. She huffs and jabs him again, but his laughter is contagious and she starts laughing as well.</p><p>"Kyoshi, you’re telling me you don’t remember your wedding day?” he forces out in between laughs, and Kyoshi stops laughing, even more confused.</p><p>“Wedding? Why—when did I marry Rangi?”</p><p>“Oh, this would’ve been when you were first with me,” Kelsang says, laughter fading and his voice becoming more somber. Kyoshi stiffens instinctively next to him.</p><p>She barely remembers any of her first few months with Kelsang, when he first took her in off the streets. Kyoshi remembers soft white fur, remembers the clay turtle Kelsang gave her for her birthday, remembers spending afternoon recess in a parking lot surrounded by a field of grass, and she remembers soft lips kissing her nose, but the adoption papers fell through, and into the foster system Kyoshi went for seven years. She doesn’t remember much after, does her best to forget the nights she spent shaking from fever as she went unattended to and limp from hunger as she was forgotten, and when Kelsang came back, she barely remembered him, much less his large hands and soft robes. It took months for her to become comfortable around him, wary that he would leave her once again, like they always did, even after he took her hands in his hand and swore on his life he would never leave her, but then he stayed, and he did not leave.</p><p>"You two spent months saying you would marry each other.” Kelsang’s wistful voice brings her back to the present, his thumb gently stroking younger Kyoshi’s cheek. “Every time you called each other your future wife, Hei-Ran nearly had a stroke.”</p><p>Kyoshi herself almost has a stroke. “I—future wife? I called Rangi my <em> future wife? </em>”</p><p>"It was adorable,” Kelsang says, his other hand coming up to run through her hair affectionately. “For Spirit Night, you two said you wanted to dress up as each other’s wives on your wedding day.”</p><p>“I don’t believe this,” Kyoshi says, her cheeks flushing up. “I dressed up as her wife?”</p><p>“Seven year old you had so much confidence,” Kelsang says, and Kyoshi yelps at his friendly poke. “From what Rangi announced, you were the one who proposed. See that wooden penguin goose?”</p><p>Still reeling from Kelsang’s tease about her feelings for her friend, Kyoshi nods dumbly.</p><p>"For the Fire Nationals, it’s tradition for the groom to give the bride’s mother a penguin goose at the wedding, since they mate for life. Hei-Ran figured that stuffed one was the best we could do considering how old you were. You didn’t let go of it the entire night.” There’s a pause, and Kelsang adds, “Well, technically, you were supposed to give it to Hei-Ran, but I think you thought it meant you would be with Rangi for the rest of your life.”</p><p>“Spirits,” Kyoshi says.</p><p>There’s a storm inside her, the way her heart flutters and her stomach tightens at the thought of marrying Rangi, calling Rangi her future wife, being with Rangi, so loud and loyal and loving, for the rest of her life.</p><p>“Speaking of Rangi, aren’t you meeting her in a few minutes?”</p><p>Kyoshi jumps at the reminder.</p><p>“Flameo, I’m late, I completely forgot,” Kyoshi says, still holding the photo. Kelsang, sensing her apprehension, holds his hand out.</p><p>"I’ll keep it safe,” he promises. “I’ve held onto it for nearly a decade now. A few more hours won’t hurt.”</p><p>Kyoshi’s been married to Rangi for a decade now. She presses it gingerly into Kelsang’s hand, not trusting herself to leave it unmarished with her own clumsiness, and Kelsang’s fingers close over it, sealing his vow. She presses a kiss to his cheek as she hurries out.</p><p>“Thank you!” she calls, grabbing the car keys and heading for the front door. “I’ll be back by 10!”</p><p>“Be safe with your wife!” Kelsang yells back, and his rumbling laugh is cut off as Kyoshi slams the door shut, ears burning.</p><p> </p><p>Glorious golden rays have just touched the sky when Kyoshi remembers.</p><p>“Do you remember when we married each other?”</p><p>Rangi chokes on her drink, sputtering up her black milk tea and herbal jelly in a coughing fit as she desperately tries to keep balance on the car’s roof, and Kyoshi’s hand shoots out instinctively, grabbing her arm and pulling her into herself to keep her from falling.</p><p>“Married?” Rangi demands, wiping her mouth and squinting at Kyoshi, the tips of her ears red. Kyoshi wipes gently at the drops of milk tea Rangi missed, and Rangi holds still.</p><p>“Kelsang showed me an old photo of us when we were kids,” Kyoshi says, “before I left.”</p><p>Rangi frowns at that, eyebrows furrowing together in a face so oddly familiar and heartbreaking that Kyoshi has the urge to kiss her to cheer her up. She pushes down the feelings, scolding herself internally for how natural they felt.</p><p>“We used to call each other our future wife, he said,” Kyoshi adds.</p><p>Rangi doesn’t say anything, quiet, and Kyoshi stills. They’ve never talked about the past, maybe Rangi doesn’t remember, or maybe Kyoshi hurt Rangi as kids, and—</p><p><em> This was a bad idea </em>, Kyoshi thinks.</p><p>Her hand reaches out to take Rangi’s free one, fingers drifting over her firebending calluses and asking for permission, and to her relief, Rangi accepts, interlacing their fingers and squeezing her hand gently. Rangi’s hands are small, Kyoshi’s palms so much bigger than hers and her fingers so much longer as well, and Kyoshi is filled with the urge to cover her hands over Rangi’s.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Kyoshi says. “We don’t have to talk about it.”</p><p>Rangi still doesn’t say anything, her gaze drifting off into space and staring at the sunset in front of them. Her dark eyes are illuminated by the sun’s rays, a spark of bronze amongst her usually-dark irises, and her cheekbones are traced ever so beautifully by the dying sunlight. She’s changed out of her daily Fire Army uniform into a red sweater with the Fire Nation insignia over a white button up hugging her chest snugly, and she looks so domestic. So soft that Kyoshi can imagine, for a moment, this is not Officer Sei’naka of the Fire Nation, but instead Rangi, her wife.</p><p>"You oaf,” Rangi says, voice slightly strangled, and she takes a sip of her drink to clear her voice. “You said we would be together forever.”</p><p>“Oh,” Kyoshi says. <em>  And then I disappeared for seven years. </em></p><p>“You don’t remember?”</p><p>Rangi is still staring off into space, eyes far away, and Kyoshi swears she sees tears glistening in her eyes. She has always worn her heart on her sleeve, so easily losing her temper and yelling and crying, and for a moment, Kyoshi is scared that Rangi will start crying because of her.</p><p>“I try not to remember anything from my childhood,” Kyoshi says.</p><p>"You used to make me watch the clouds with you,” Rangi murmurs, still in a daze. “I hated it.”</p><p>Kyoshi frowns. “But you love cloud watching.”</p><p>“Only after you told me how much you loved it.”</p><p>Kyoshi swallows and stares at the sunset, trying to follow Rangi’s line of sight. “Oh.”</p><p>This has been their tradition for nearly four years now, after Kyoshi was adopted by Kelsang. Rangi, attending the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, had somehow transferred to a station in Yokoya, and so despite their different schoolings, they met up every weekend after school for a night out. Dinner from Xiao Ling Bing Ba, boba from QQ’s, and then Kyoshi drove them up to the hillside, where they perched on the roof of her car to watch the sunset, talking about everything and nothing. Rangi was the one who suggested they watch the sunset: she wanted to see the way the sun touched the clouds as they parted to usher in the moon, and Kyoshi was never one to deny Rangi what she wanted.</p><p>It’s different knowing that Kyoshi was the one who wanted to watch clouds.</p><p>Rangi lets go of Kyoshi’s hand and sets down her drink, going to pull out her black wallet and open it. Kyoshi sets her own drink down and watches as Rangi rummages behind her officer ID to pull out a photograph, folded in half.</p><p>The same photo, printed on a piece of plain paper, the edges torn and the crease folds feathering at the tips. Rangi and Kyoshi, ten years ago, dressed in wedding hanboks, little Rangi clutching Kyoshi’s arm and Kyoshi laughing back in response. Kyoshi’s throat closes up at the way Rangi’s hands are trembling.</p><p>“It was the one thing I had left of you,” Rangi says. “Of course I remembered.”</p><p>Rangi, so loud and stern and loyal, sounds so small, and Kyoshi wants to squeeze her, hold her, tell her <em> I’m sorry, I’m here, I won’t leave you again </em>—</p><p>“I think I remembered you,” ends up leaving her mouth, and Rangi snaps her head up, nearly hitting Kyoshi’s chin. The tears are still glistening, but there’s a fire in her eyes that seems all too familiar.</p><p>“You said you barely remembered anything,” Rangi says, almost accusatory.</p><p>Kyoshi wilts under her harsh tone, flushing because she didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it’s the one memory she hasn’t been able to connect to Kelsang or Pengpeng, and if Rangi and Kyoshi really married each other, it might just be Rangi.</p><p>“I remember someone kissing my nose,” she says slowly. “And I think I was laying on grass.”</p><p>Rangi doesn’t answer, her gaze shifting to something almost desperate, staring at Kyoshi like she’ll suddenly remember and have all the answers, but Kyoshi can’t remember. Everything stops if she tries focusing on the lips pressed against her nose, fuzzy and gray and gone, and it’s all Kyoshi has to offer.</p><p>The day after Kelsang formerly adopted her, a dark-haired girl showed up on her doorstep the next day, taking her hands in hers and berating her for being so thin, and when Kyoshi cried that she didn’t know who this angry, yelling girl was, she dropped her hands and cried.</p><p>Kelsang took Kyoshi aside, explained that Rangi was her friend from so many years before, but Kyoshi could not remember anything other than the soft lips on her nose and the small hands that fit perfectly in her palm, and when she went back out to apologize to the girl, her composure had been sculpted so perfectly it was like she had never broken down in the first place.<em> Rangi Sei’naka </em> , she said, voice clipped and flat, <em> officer of the Fire Nation Army, recent transfer to the Yokoyo Fort. I will be here to help you with your studies. </em></p><p>Kyoshi did not care for school. It had been seven years since she last set foot in a classroom with teachers she understood, and Kelsang offered to take her to the Air Temples to study, but Rangi insisted, argued for Kyoshi to graduate with a diploma and study at a university. The girl that Kyoshi could not remember yet knew her so well, from the way she always brought red bean buns to their weekly tutoring sessions to the way she ran her fingers through Kyoshi’s hair, detangling and straightening her dark locks that she forgot to brush through so often. The girl that had so much faith in Kyoshi when Kyoshi could not even remember her and stayed by her side even when she failed her first round of exams.</p><p><em> Let’s get back to work </em> , she told Kyoshi after she closed the tab of her grades. <em> I’ll be with you no matter what. </em></p><p>Oh.</p><p>“That was the day you proposed to me,” Rangi admits, her voice light as if trying to joke, but she breaks, the tears spilling down her cheeks and her shoulders shaking. “Spirits—”</p><p>“Rangi—”</p><p>Kyoshi reaches out and brings Rangi into her, and Rangi melts perfectly into her arms, burying her face in her chest as she cries. Her hair, still a little damp from her shower after school, is brushing against her chin, a faint jasmine scent from her shampoo filling Kyoshi’s senses, and Kyoshi’s heart is twisting, crumpling, that Rangi lived four years of a one-sided relationship, that Rangi remembered so much that Kyoshi had no idea of.</p><p>"Did you know you have a crooked smile?” comes from Rangi, muffled against Kyoshi’s chest and her breath hitching. “It’s the same smile you had as a kid. Whenever I yelled at you, you always gave me that stupid smile.”</p><p>Kyoshi does know about her smile, a little lopsided for whatever reason. Rangi pulls back, eyes red and puffy and the most beautiful Kyoshi has ever seen her, touched by the sun’s dying light.</p><p>“When you came back, I thought everything changed,” Rangi whispers. “But you still had that stupid smile.”</p><p>Without warning, Rangi lifts her head and brushes her lips against Kyoshi’s face. For one startling, thrilling moment, Kyoshi thinks Rangi is going to kiss her, but instead her lips brush past and press against her nose. The sensation is so familiar, Rangi’s lips so soft and tender, their touch almost reverent, and Kyoshi knows for sure that her previous memory was of Rangi because this kiss feels so much like home.</p><p>Rangi shifts against her, bringing her left leg over to straddle Kyoshi and lifting her hands to Kyoshi’s shoulders. Even sitting on Kyoshi’s lap, Rangi is straining her neck to meet Kyoshi’s eyes, and Kyoshi slouches a little, her hands settling on Rangi’s hips. Rangi’s eyes are still glistening, and she gives Kyoshi a wet smile.</p><p>“I didn’t kiss you much,” Rangi says. “You kissed me more, but you were very bad at it.”</p><p>Kyoshi chokes. “What?”</p><p>“They were so wet.” Rangi’s nose wrinkles at the memory, and Kyoshi bursts into laughter. “You used your tongue way too much.”</p><p>“Tienhai, why was I using my <em> tongue? </em> ” Kyoshi stammers, the heat rising in her face at the thought of whatever seven-year-old-her was trying to accomplish, <em> did I ever kiss Rangi on her mouth? </em></p><p>“Why would I know?” Rangi snorts. “Half the time it felt like you were licking me.”</p><p>“Let’s hope I’ve gotten better,” Kyoshi says, and only when the words leave her mouth that she realizes the weight of what she’s just said.</p><p>Rangi’s breath hitches, a sharp inhale as she stares back at Kyoshi, the tips of her ears bright red and her eyes wide and bright. Her hands are burning on Kyoshi’s shoulder, whether seemingly or actually, and Kyoshi’s mouth opens to try and backtrack, to apologize, to say <em> sorry, I do want to kiss you, I won’t use my tongue if you don’t like it, oh spirits </em>—</p><p>“Is that a promise?” Rangi asks, voice hushed, and her eyes flicker down to Kyoshi’s lips.</p><p>Kyoshi swallows. <em> I promise I’ll be here. I promise I won’t leave. I promise I’ll stay with you like you stayed with me. </em></p><p>She lets herself drift, lets her nose bump against Rangi’s before her lips brush over hers, and when Rangi doesn’t flinch, Kyoshi closes her eyes and presses her lips to Rangi’s.</p><p>Kyoshi is leaning down, her forehead pressing against Rangi’s as her lips capture hers, moving instinctively where their lips slot neatly against each other, teeth clacking as Kyoshi tilts her head to find a position more comfortable because Rangi’s mouth is so soft and she needs as much of it as possible. Rangi responds hungrily; her hands have come up to Kyoshi’s face, one cradling her cheek, the other tangling in her hair to angle Kyoshi, and Kyoshi lets her take control, lets her move her as if she belongs to Rangi because maybe she does. She brings Rangi closer to her, pressing their bodies together, and something sparks amongst the swelling of her chest when Rangi’s tongue slips past her lips and into her mouth, and forget oxygen, Kyoshi could live off of Rangi’s smooth lips and sweet aftertaste alone.</p><p>Rangi is the first to break away, a sigh released into Kyoshi’s mouth as her only warning before she reluctantly parts. Kyoshi’s eyes flutter open to see Rangi, lips kiss-swollen and pupils completely blown, and she must be staring because Rangi laughs.</p><p>“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” she says. </p><p>“I don’t,” Kyoshi answers honestly. Rangi’s eyes soften minutely.</p><p>The sun has set now, the dark sky dotted with twinkling stars, and Kyoshi involuntarily shivers. There’s enough she needs to ask—<em> what does this mean? What are we? Can we please stay together? </em></p><p>Maybe she’s thinking too loudly. There’s a crinkling of paper as Rangi folds the photograph into her pocket before meeting Kyoshi’s eyes. She inhales deeply, holding her breath, and Kyoshi can feel her body warm up from the internal firebending.</p><p>"I think we’ll need a bit of practice on that kissing,” Rangi says at last, eyes glinting with something mischievous. “Your form could use some work.”</p><p>And Kyoshi remembers a girl, with the fiercest scowl imaginable and a temper like a moose lion, and Kyoshi smiles.</p><p>“That’s fine,” Kyoshi says. “We have forever.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello so many ppl seemed to like the first childhood au and i was inspired and then lovely ela reached out and asked if i wanted to collab with her and loook i ADORE her art and long story short i gunned out this entire thing just in time for winter wlw atla week 👉👈 SO</p><p>also also this is the link to her art blog!! PLEASE look at her art her rangshi stuff gives me life 🥺🥺🥺 it was an absolute delight collabing with her on this one!! https://cypresstreeleaf.tumblr.com/</p><p>anyways thank y'all so much for y'all's support!! this second part has a couple of holes that i couldn't address bc of time constraints + didn't rlly seem to fit in, but if y'all have any more questions feel free to ask &lt;33 hope y'all have a great rest of the week, and i can't wait to see the rest of this week's submissions!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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